WIDOWHOOD HAS A LIFE WHICH HAS TO BE LET LIVE DIGNIFIED AND RESPECTFULLY

 

WIDOWHOOD HAS A LIFE WHICH HAS TO BE LET LIVE DIGNIFIED AND RESPECTFULLY

            I have been motivated to write on such a topic which could also be quite sensitive; since I read reports publicly published globally that during Covid-19, the fatality (death) of men is around two times that of women. It means the number of men who have died (also continuing to pass away) is twice that of women who have died (also continuing to pass away in the same ratio). That means, the number of married women who have lost their husbands would be twice the number of married men who have lost their wives and thus a large number of widows have been placed in the society during Covid-19 pandemic. Since this phenomenon came to my attention, I have been doing some research about how the people of such large number who are getting widowed would be conducting in the society, as historically a widow has a very constricted environment in the society; to operate culturally, socially, economically and independently.  By a look at the figures of Covid-19 cases till date globally, the following is revealed :

Total 

Worldwide

Cases 28.5M +289K	Recovered                19.2M	Deaths             916K             +6,116

There are 15 Countries where deaths are more than 10000 and they are::

Location        Cases Reported            Recovered              Deaths

United States	6.54M +43,811	3.54M	196K +1,004
India	4.66M +96,551	3.62M	77,472 +1,209
Brazil	4.29M +43,718	3.53M	131K +874
Russia	1.06M +5,504	874K	18,484 +102
Peru	717K +6,603	552K	30,470 +126
Colombia	702K +7,424	583K	22,518 +243
Mexico	658K +5,935	464K	70,183 +534
South Africa	646K +1,960	575K	15,378 +113
Spain	566K +12,183	-	29,747 +48
Argentina	536K +11,507	400K	11,148 +241
Chile	431K +1,866	403K	11,850 +69
Iran	400K +2,313	345K	23,029 +115
France	363K +9,406	89,059	30,893 +80
United Kingdom	362K +3,539	-	41,614 +6
Italy	285K +1,616	212K	35,767 +10

Updated less than 20 mins ago: Source: Wikipedia : as at 19.52 hours IST (Indian Standard Time ) Sept 12, 2020

(In some countries, Recovered Data is not reported in this source, +figures are latest reported to be added back)

(m = million, k=thousand , the numbers are number of persons)

The BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) reported, as on October, 2017 there were 55 million widows in India. In Census of India in 2011, it was reported that 4.6% of total population of 121 crores (1210 million then) there were 5.6 Crore(56 million) of widowed ( men and women or Widower and Widow combined figure) where in women ( widows ) far exceeded the men  ( widower ). Prior to that the Census of India in 2001 had reported that India had 18.5 lakh (1.85 million or 1850000) widowed population (widow+widower). That showed that the growth of widowed population in India increased around 3times from 2001 to 2011. When BBC reported that there were 55million widows (women) in India as on October 2017, the widowed population has also increased substantially from 2011 till 2017.

Published reports show that in India, 85% of the people who have died due to Covid-19 pandemic are in 45 plus age zone. From the data presented above, in India as on 12^th September 2020, there are 78681 people, who have died out of Covid-19 and 2/3^rd of this number which is 52454 are men and 1/3rd of this number which is 26227 are women. Further if 85% of the people who have died are 45 plus age, it can be safely considered that those who have 45plus age and have died are all married persons ( may be a very small number could be unmarried and some may be already widowed, but for broader consideration it could be ignored number). That means, the deaths due to Covid-19 pandemic has created additional 44586 widows ( 85% of 52454  men have died ) and 22293 widowers ( 85% of 26227 women have died ).

These numbers show that, India has a very large number, exceeding 55million widows (women) alone. The widower number is much lesser but is not a small number as well.

In India, once a person is widowed (after the spouse dies), the life is really quite difficult to lead normally due to cultural, social, familial and historical prejudices and in many cases the financial condition prevailing against such a person. Although both the widowers (men) and widows (women) who have tragically lost their spouses by death suffer post-loss of spouse in Indian society, however it is more difficult situation for a widow (a woman who has lost her spouse by death) than a widower(a man who has lost his spouse by death) socially and culturally.

Historically, Raja Ram Mohan Ray, raised voice and advocated re-marriage of widows in 19^th Century abolishing the social custom of “Sati”(wife getting burnt in the funeral pyre of husband prevalent then) and by that a large correction had happened in Indian Society. The Indian Society has traveled almost a full century and two decades after that entering into modern era. However, the plight of a widow is still a mountainous struggle to live a life in society in India. I am not dwelling here about the plight of widows in international situation where there is an open society and open culture, as by investigation I could understand, it is not that big issue in other countries abroad. Also, I am not dwelling much on widowers (men who have lost spouses by death) as they still have somewhat lesser difficult situation in India (cannot say they are without suffering going through).

In Indian society it is being wrongly prejudiced that a widow is an inauspicious person, as also some still believe by blind beliefs that she has a curse on head, which is absolutely wrong myth and a social taboo to be thrown away by the modern society. If someone’s husband dies due to accident, disease or pandemic or biological reasons or any reason for that matter, she is not at fault (I am excluding crimes that are separately dealt with by the laws of the land). Rather the widow has lost a critical companion of her life, her spouse, she has to be sympathized, empathized and not put to undue hardship in carrying on her further life comfortably and as per her wish and freedom to pursue life further.

For a widow in India, there are lot of restrictions put forth socially and culturally. They are not welcome to auspicious functions and celebrations such as marriages and such rituals and it is a great humiliation for no reasons. The society has created such conditions that they are forced to adopt living practices even self-imposed and peer imposed and is a lot torture on a widow psychologically. Even the own families and own children impose conditions informally on the widows that they have to live a life as if second class members of the society. The widows therefore adopt a life style of remaining within a closed cocoon. Their social interactions become limited, they are not allowed to freely mix or interact with their friends of same gender or opposite gender. Their movements and conduct of life all become quite controlled by the families, peers and society.

There is a dogmatic caste system existing in India and it is very deep rooted even today having severe influence on the culture and conduct of the society. Even a widow belonging to a higher caste, is under more dogmatic and prejudiced restrictions to follow than a widow belonging to a lower caste. Education has not still made great changes to the prejudices and blind faiths regarding the widows.

By close investigations and through research observations it is revealed that, even in the modern age of Social Media where a person can mix and interact with her friends and members of society whether same gender or opposite gender freely by electronic media without being exposed physically or facially, there are lot of blockade and hindrance being created for widows within the families and peers. Even the electronic instruments such as phone instruments and tablets used by the widows are being scrutinized and controlled and blocked by the family members and children of the widows to restrict them from freedom of conduct, freedom of speech and interactions with their past friends, friends of their choice and liking. Otherwise such conditions are being created by the families, children and peers that widows are imposing tremendous self-restrictions on themselves without having choice to get rid of such restrictive controls of the peers and cutting off relations with noble friends and relatives with whom they would be happy to mix and interact in social media and ventilate their mind and fresh up as well as de-stress their mental faculty and psychological regimen for better living.   Such restrictions are really uncalled for. The families, peers and children of widows must take a liberal view towards them and rather facilitate and create conditions allowing widows to live a free and fair life without hindrance and following conducts as they like and would like to pursue to live a normal life.

In specific cases, the widows who are doing jobs and are in employment or in business, they have a better liberal life as they have some financial independence and financial security. The widows who are not in jobs or business by employment, even if their husbands would have left wealth and property while they died, the widows will be under restrictions and as such the wealth and property left by the husband would be taken over by the children and families and relatives in some cases; and would not be under the full control of the widows in most of the cases. In such cases where the widows are dependent on their children and the families or relatives for financial requirement, their situation would be very precarious and would be living in a kind of surviving slavery.

The persons who become widows at a very late age say after the age of 60 or so, while their children would have grown and matured, they might be under a somewhat comfort due to respect for elders as stays still in Indian culture and as such at such age, the desires of life for the widows would be little subsided. However, the persons who become widows in early and middle ages, and are not in employment or in business, they would have a more precarious life to be maintained. They will have very little society as the entire society will look at them with a suspicious eye or they themselves due to the pressure of the society and peers would look at the society with a suspicious eye and doubt the most noble friends who may be genuinely trying to be helpful to them and must be trying to give them comfort. That is where a mutual doubt and mistrust plays and creates stress for the life of the widows. The widows, bye far, have to remain sex-deprived and it is a difficult condition if they have become widows at an early or middle age while it is a basic need of life postulated by enough scientific and psychological literature, but there is tremendous barrier for widows for this facility. This is due to the primary cultural barriers for the widows persisting in Indian society historically and without so much change even in modern and civilized age that society says to have reached out and reforms are yet to come over time.  

There is no such legal frame work for the life and facilitation of widows for their normal life in the society, neither in India nor abroad. The societies abroad are more open societies hence it may not be an issue as much as in India. Because, by cultural heritage, the Indian society is a closed society for widows and the Indian society has to liberate itself so that the widows are able to lead a better life within the society.

I have expressed some thoughts highlighting the present situation of the widows. The society has to liberate, reform and extend a liberal look towards the widows considering the facts that the widowhood has a life and it has to be let live dignified and respectfully.

About the Author: Dr. Nimain Charan  Biswal is a B.Sc.(Agri. Science and Technology). M.B.A. and Ph.D.( Management Area ) by qualifications and he has 34+years of work experience in both  industrial and development sectors in diversified fields of social importance. He has been educated at Orissa University of Agriculture and Technology (OUAT)-Bhubaneswar, Institute of Rural Management Anand (IRMA) and Gujarat University (with Resource Support of IIM-Ahmedabad). Dr.Biswal is further educated at IIM-Calcutta, XLRI-Jamshedpur, Apple Computer Industries and Spar Inc., USA. He has worked for reputed National and International Organisations in Senior/Top Management Capacities. He is a management expert, a prominent professional of India and known Internationally as well. He lives at Mumbai in India.